A False Foundation for Ministry
I remember hearing a woman talking about how thankful she was for her husband’s new leadership position: “He has finally started to pray!”
One of the often unspoken truths of ministry is that many seek to use ministry, or the expectations of their ministry or leadership position, to hold up their faith.
In a seminary context I often interact with pastors who are coming to seminary, or coming back to seminary, who realize that their prayer lives or their Bible reading have been propped up by their ministry. Too often seminary professors hear someone say something like, “Honestly, if I didn’t have to preach, I don’t think I would read my Bible.”
One of the “problems” of the Christian life, if I can put it that way, is that our devotion and faithfulness are often propped up by things other than faith, hope, and love. There are reasons why we don’t see this, but I don’t want to get into that here. Rather, my interest here is on what we do when we see it.
For some, seeing that their ministry is being held up by their flesh, in one way or another, is debilitating. It is too much. They immediately start spinning and questioning and wondering if any of this had any meaning at all.
In these spaces, it is helpful to just pause, and consider Jesus. Jesus spent a lot of time with his disciples showing them that their devotion to him was built on the flesh. He was constantly poking at them and prodding them, revealing that they were on a road to greatness while he was walking the path to the cross.
To be faithful to Jesus requires that we see the truth. This means we will have him pull the curtain back and show us that, perhaps, our devotion is resting on the foundation of our flesh, or our preaching is built on the back of our grandiosity, or our benevolence is really fueled by a kind of greed.
Instead of spinning, and questioning everything, we need to take all of this to Jesus. Jesus, look! Look at this! This is a mess. Without you, I can do nothing!
As we journey with the God who is a purifying fire, he will show us the truth of our hearts, and he will continue to purify, not only our sinfulness, but our ministries, devotions, and service. Even these need purifying.
Consider with the Lord: Lord, what really does uphold my devotion? Am I devoted because that is just what I do? Is my devotion, or ministry, fueled by the expectations of others, or grandiosity, or envy? What might it look like to do these things as a way of resting in you and seeking you? What is your invitation to embrace these things in love?